Under One Roof: Multigenerational Living and the American Housing Crisis Whipple Writing Fellowship

We all know people who are forced to have roommates out of economic necessity. This situation can be hard for everyone involved, even for the nicest people. However, tensions can grow especially high when your roommate is thirty years your senior, shares your genetics, and keeps asking what you’re doing with your life. 

In recent years, it’s becoming increasingly common for America’s adult children to move back in with their parents due to financial strain. In 2022, in the wake of a global pandemic that caused staggering inflation, 40% of men ages 25 to 29 lived with older relatives, and 30% of all young adults in that age range reported the same.[1] By now in 2025, that number is likely higher. 

The root of this phenomenon is the housing crisis, which is too vast a topic to fully break down in a ten page paper, let alone in a single paragraph. However, for my purposes, the most important thing to understand about the housing crisis is as follows: it is much harder to afford a house today than it was in prior decades. So, to any parents who start a lecture to their children with “back in my day” –  let me stop you right there. In 1970, the average wage earner needed to save for only 2.4 years to buy a home. Throughout the subsequent decades, a variety of factors led to a tightened housing market so that in 1990 the average person had to save for 5.4 years to buy a home. By 2000, that number was a staggering 7 years.[2] These frightening trends have been largely influenced by inflation, stagnating wages, and strict zoning and housing codes that have contributed to the deficit in home building.[3]  The US is experiencing a construction shortfall of over 6.8 million affordable homes, and that’s just to meet the needs of the nation’s extremely low income families. There is not even a single state in which a person working full time at a minimum wage job can afford to make rent on a typical two-bedroom apartment.[4] People often cite houses as “safe investments,” claiming they will only go up in value. What many fail to understand about this phenomenon is that the worth of these homes increase mainly because there isn’t enough to go around. As long as the chasm between the housing supply and the demand keeps widening, the value of existing homes skyrockets.[5] What was once considered a cornerstone of adulthood is a dream drifting farther out of reach for the young adults of today who are trying to navigate a housing market in which they are set up to fail.

Many young adults who are trying to make it on their own face housing horror stories, of which I’ve heard my fair share. A recent college grad I know told me she got her Apple headphones stolen straight off her head while trying to get into her miniscule, dingy, Boston apartment that she and her roommate pay four thousand a month for. Another explained how she had to rig a pulley to propel her couch to the third floor of an ancient apartment because the building’s stairways were too narrow to accommodate furniture. My second cousin said that Boston housing is so competitive that if there’s a place you even half-heartedly like, you have to sign the papers immediately lest someone else beat you to it. Another girl I know contemplated signing a lease with a woman whose grandson she’d never met who would continue to live in the apartment with her. This is only a sampling of the harrowing experiences young people go through to secure housing; uncaring landlords, unsafe locations, and even rodents are often considered par for the course. Despite jumping through all these hoops, renting or buying a home may still be unfeasible for the nation’s young adults, especially those who need to save up for other life investments, like higher education, paying off student loans, or purchasing a car.

A lot of parents don’t seem to understand this. It’s why a middle aged mom might lament to her friends over wine that she’s back to cooking for her children who really aren’t kids anymore, or a father might tell his golfing buddies that this generation is doomed because his son now has a college degree hanging on the wall of his childhood bedroom. Most parents have invested a lot of time and money into preparing their children for success. Therefore, they report higher positive relations with young adult children who embody traits associated with adulthood, including being employed, married, or not co-residing with their parents.[6] This relationship highlights the stigma associated with multigenerational living in the western world. Many Americans express increasing alarm at the trend of adult children moving back in with their parents, deeming them lazy or coddled. They treat adulthood as a pass/fail test, where the picture of what success looks like is not negotiable. While many of today’s young adults have been forced into multigenerational living due to economic conditions, society faults them rather than the housing market that is getting increasingly difficult to navigate. 

***

However, that perspective is not a universal one. In fact, in many parts of the world, multigenerational living is the traditional norm rather than the exception. South Africa serves as the perfect case study to examine how culture influences multigenerational living, for it’s a country with very distinct racial and ethnic groups. Black South Africans have strong extended kin systems, so it’s common to see “skip generation households,” where parents send kids to live with grandparents in rural communities while they seek work in urban areas.[7] Contrarily, White South Africans with European ancestry are much more likely to live in nuclear family households.[8] This dichotomy has to do with the global influences that define each group, with White South Africans ruled by western tradition and Black South Africans shaped by the culture of  native Africans. In many European cultures, nuclear family households are the norm, which translates into the choices of many White South Africans to pursue such living arrangements. Comparatively, many Black South Africans have strong cultural and familial ties pushing them to multigenerational living. Another factor at play is the aftereffects of Apartheid, which have left Black South Africans generationally and systematically disenfranchised compared to their White counterparts.[9] In such cases, multigenerational living is often the only economically feasible living arrangement, while White South Africans possess many more options. 

Like in parts of Africa, many Asian cultures celebrate multigenerational living. In Singapore, traditional norms would dictate that people live in multigenerational homes, and indeed, 94% of older Singaporeans live with two to three younger generations.[10] However, because modern Singapore is high density, the manifestation of filial piety has shifted. Now, household sizes have decreased and the nuclear family model has gained popularity, but most people live close to their extended family.[11] The government even incentivizes these multigenerational support systems. The majority of Singapore’s housing is public, so when people apply, they get preferential treatment if they try to get an apartment near their parents.[12]

Despite growing up in the cradle of western culture, I’ve experienced many Indian influences, especially in regards to multigenerational living. My grandparents, who have spent most of their lives in India, have a lot to say on the topic. My grandfather explained that in olden days, places like Kallaidaikurchi, our own ancestral village on his side, showcased multigenerational living in its purest sense. He explained that sons stayed in their family homes for their entire lives, even after marrying and having children. The entire family tree would expand under one roof. Meanwhile, daughters would be given away in marriage to other families but would come back to visit. 

This Indian culture of multigenerational living, though not always practiced in its traditional form, has lasted well into the modern day. When I asked my grandmother what she thought the biggest difference between India and the US is, she paused for a moment, thinking, then said, “In India, it’s always about your duty. In the West, it’s about your rights.” Her explanation was simple, but it broke down the multigenerational living question along country borders. In Asia and parts of Africa, traditional society operates on duty, and this cultural pillar has carried over into the 21st century. Family is the center of life, though no group is homogenous. Western cultures tend to prioritize the rights and independence promised by individualism, while eastern cultures favor filial piety and collectivism. This dichotomy contributes to why some cultures celebrate multigenerational living and others don’t.

My grandmother noted another big difference between India and the US: across the board, Americans seem much more formal. While this manifests in some objective social good—my grandmother remarked that here, drivers slow down when they see you crossing the street instead of speeding up—the relative informality of India can also lend itself to closer familial ties compared to its western counterparts. Whenever I’ve gone on trips to India, we show up at relatives’ houses with no warning, knock, and are enthusiastically greeted with chai or a full meal, depending on the time of day. Houses are almost always open to visitors, and it’s considered perfectly acceptable to drop in if you’re in the area. People are also informal when it comes to conversation, especially between extended family members who eagerly ask questions others might see as too personal regarding income and relationships. Devotion to family is instilled from a young age. Children often hear the scriptural sayings “matru devo bhava” and “pitru devo bhava” (treat your mother and father like God) and are taught from infancy to respect their parents. Whenever they see older relatives, children touch the feet of their elders and take their blessings as a sign of deference. In India, just like in many other countries, family is valued above all else. And of course, living with said family, even into adulthood, is considered perfectly normal.

I, having grown up surrounded by Indian culture, found elements of multigenerational living to be both usual and desirable. I grew up on my grandparents’ stories of childhoods surrounded by their extended families. Both my grandparents expressed that even during their youth, India had already begun to westernize, and nuclear family models were gaining prominence over the traditional multigenerational home, especially in urban environments. Though they spent much of their time in small city flats with only their nuclear families, every summer would mean a return to the ancestral home with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Those few months out of the year were treasured times. 

My grandmother’s family compound in Vaikom, Kerala serves as the backdrop for her fondest memories. The three houses on the property encompassed her entire family during those hot summer months. Tall palms and banana trees shaded the buildings, making the surroundings impossibly lush. For dinner, all the children gathered around a big clay pot, and their grandmother went round and round, placing a handful of rice in each of the children’s palms, distracting them from the wait time between bites with stories. Meanwhile, a new mother could always count on the older women of the household to determine why her infant was crying. An aunt or grandmother would pick the child up and know instantly what the problem was and how to fix it, providing herbal remedies and sage wisdom alike.

My grandfather similarly delights in telling me about his childhood adventures in Kallidaikurchi, his ancestral village in Tamil Nadu. Each morning, the kids would walk half an hour past trodden dirt roads and emerald green paddy fields until they reached the local river. Then, they exuberantly swam and bathed in the cool current for want of indoor plumbing. There was always some infant in the house; either a cousin or younger relative, who couldn’t quite keep up with the big kids. A cloth bassinet hung from the ceiling, in which the baby would sleep, and the older cousins would push it around, pretending it was a train.

My mom, who spent her summer between these two family compounds, said that with so many kids around, there was never a dull moment. Before any festivity, the children would be tasked with gathering flowers for religious offerings, unwittingly completing chores in what they saw as a fun activity. Large fairs and festivals often engulfed the village, delighting the children with the sheer amount of color and food. However, the line between playmate and enemy was thin, as in a particularly memorable incident of roughhousing, my mom’s cousin used her sister as a battering ram to take her down. My grandmother theorized that it was because of such living conditions that children seemed less stubborn or difficult in those days. They were never the center of the household, simply one part of it, and they were always surrounded by others of their own age.

Love and support took center stage in my grandparents’ tales of multigenerational living. My grandmother said that even through times of economic hardship, no one had to suffer because there would always be relatives who would come to your aid. Family members didn’t think of money as “theirs” or “yours,” and instead everyone was always willing to chip in, especially for large expenses like weddings or sending children to school. 

To me, these stories of multigenerational living felt unquestionable, timeless, and full of joy. I had no idea how much cultural context shaped my view, and I remember the moment when I realized not everyone shared the same attitude towards multigenerational living and relationships. 

***

Flags of hundreds of countries were strung up around my 6th grade classroom, crisscrossing but never tangling. Children scurried around under the guise of collaboration, shrieking and laughing. No one could blame them; it was the last period of the last day before summer vacation, and even the most vigilant teacher relaxed their expectations to accommodate the anticipation bubbling out of every pupil.

I perched at a desk, hovering in my seat. My teacher was asking us about our plans for the break. My friends, in all their excitement, detailed trips to the beach, vacations out of state, and summer camp fun. My teacher nodded her approval to each of these itineraries.

When asked what was happening during my summer, I made what I thought was an unobtrusive contribution. “My grandparents are coming to stay for four months,” I said.

At this, my teacher’s mouth fell open. “Four months!” she exclaimed. “How will you cope?”

I laughed, but internally, I was perplexed. My grandparents had come to stay with us for months every year for as long as I could remember. While they have never lived with me permanently, they’ve often come to stay for long periods of time. In the days when I toted a backpack much larger than I was, my grandfather walked me to school every morning, holding my hand as we crossed the street and delivering me straight into my classroom. When I returned in the afternoon, my grandmother would be cooking dinner, the scent of spices infusing the air. I never came home to an empty house, and I was glad for it.

As I grew up, I started to pay more attention to the comments people made about their extended family. I heard complaints about the interference of the dreaded inlaws and listened as people described Thanksgiving dinners where no one spoke lest the family dissolve into heated arguments. I’d nod along and answer in affirmative when my friends tacked on a “you know?” to the end of an anecdote that was completely unrelatable to me. People talked about their extended family relationships as though they were burdens to be upheld rather than meaningful support systems.

***

Of course, people who think this way aren’t representative of all Americans. The United States, like all countries, features a variety of people with distinct living arrangements and familial relationships. American multigenerational living might be far removed from the massive family compounds of my grandparents’ youth; however, there are still many situations in which different generations live together in the US. In 2019, 58.4 million Americans lived with multiple generations under one roof, about 17.7% of the nation’s population at the time.[13] In the US, multigenerational living has historically been concentrated among lower-income families and people of color. 40% of people in such arrangements cited the reason as financial, 33% said caregiving, and 28% reported it was simply what they’d always done.[14] Picture a single mother working full time, whose own mom lives with her to help contribute to rent and watch the children. These situations are a lot more common than some might expect because multigenerational living can truly stave off poverty. People living in multi-generational housing are less likely to be poor than people in other household arrangements, because the system allows multiple income earners to split housing costs, while also protecting vulnerable individuals like those who are unemployed or disabled.[15] 

Reciprocity is a crucial concept when understanding intergenerational relationships. In many western cultures, there’s considered to be a “downwards flow of intergenerational support,” with younger generations receiving help from their elders.[16] However, this system often comes full circle, with people caring for aging family members later in life. At the same time, in every household, each member must carry their own weight. In many cases, older relatives might help with childcare and household chores or contribute to rent with pensions or social security benefits, while young adults might have other responsibilities, like helping out around the house or paying rent.

That economic factors push many low income families into multigenerational living isn’t particularly surprising. What is a departure from the usual is that even middle and upper income families now have to contend with multigenerational living for financial reasons, albeit in a different form. With adult children moving back home in what most people think of as a temporary arrangement, many middle class families are finding themselves in situations they never expected to be in. 

When many Americans think about adult children moving back in with their parents, they picture a twenty-five year old man living in his parent’s basement with neither a job nor a plan to get one since he’s perfectly content to raid the fridge and monopolize the TV remote. But does reality match this perception? Studies on the subject suggest no: 65% of young adults living with their parents say they pay for household expenses like groceries or utility bills, while half say they contribute to rent or mortgage. Almost 75% say they contribute in at least one of these areas.[17] The stigma surrounding multigenerational living in the west leads society to falsely categorize all young adults living with their parents as lazy freeloaders instead of people contributing to both their family and society. 

***

Despite coming from a culture where such multigenerational living arrangements are celebrated rather than stigmatized, my grandparents never had their children move back in after moving out. As the years passed, each of their three children immigrated to the US, starting with my mother. Our family grew on the other side of the ocean while my grandparents lived independently in a small flat an hour outside of Bangalore. They visited the US every year, often for months at a stretch, splitting their time between Seattle, where my mom’s sister and brother live, and Boston, where we live. Though they lived an 18 hour plane ride away, my grandparents were active players in my childhood, just as they were for my brother and my cousins. It’s only because we spent so much time together that our bond is as close as it is today. 

In 2021, they moved permanently to the US after the birth of their fifth grandchild; the first baby in the family in over ten years. True lovers of flats, they moved into a small apartment in Bellevue, Washington, half-way between their daughter and son. I’m only a little jaded that they chose Seattle over Boston, but they say it was because living close to two kids is better than living close to one…and they really hate the cold. 

Even though my grandparents are living independently right now, I still think the Indian values of intergenerational support run deep in our family. My grandparents often serve as babysitters for my younger cousins, and they also stay with the older cousins when my aunt and uncle go out of town. My grandmother also can’t stand to be in a kitchen without helping, so she often has dinner ready by the time the parents get home from work. My uncle has been known to drop by their flat under the pretense that my four-year old cousin wants dosas, a Tamil savory crepe, when it’s actually him who had the craving. Simultaneously, my grandparents receive plenty of help in return when they want rides, have doctors appointments, or need help with documents. All ten members of the Seattle clan drop in and out of each other’s houses, sharing meals, outings, and errands. And though we might not live in Seattle, whenever my parents and I visit, we fall right into the lovely, chaotic, big family dynamic.

My family easily tops the list of what I’m most grateful for, and my views regarding multigenerational living have a lot to do with how I was raised. Even though it’s unfeasible to change the mindset of an entire country overnight, in our current reality, we all must shift our perspectives around multigenerational living to be more accommodating, understanding, and thoughtful. Our nation is grappling with a housing market, the likes of which we’ve never seen. If young adults see their only option to be moving back in with their parents, it’s high time we stop shaming them for it, and instead applaud their efforts to save for smart investments like paying off their loans, searching for better jobs, or pursuing further study. Multigenerational living is not a new phenomenon – not in the US and certainly not globally. If so many people from so many countries have been able to do it, why can’t we? To anyone who is unexpectedly experiencing multigenerational living: I understand the present moment might be something you never would have asked for. But maybe it isn’t a setback you should just “live with,” and instead, an opportunity you should celebrate.

***

End Notes

1. D’Vera Cohn et al., “Financial Issues Top the List of Reasons U.S. Adults Live in Multigenerational Homes,” Pew Research Center (Pew Research Center, March 24, 2022), https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/financial-issues-top-the-list-of-reasons-u-s-adults-live-in-multigenerational-homes/.

2. Ezra Klein and Derek Thompson, Abundance (Simon and Schuster, 2025), 43.

3. Klein and Thompson, Abundance, 45.

4. National Low Income Housing Coalition, “The Problem,” National Low Income Housing Coalition, 2024, https://nlihc.org/explore-issues/why-we-care/problem.

5. Klein and Thompson, Abundance, 46.

6. Toni C. Antonucci et al., “Stability and Change in the Intergenerational Family: A Convoy Approach,” Ageing & Society 31, no. 7 (October 1, 2011): 1084–1106, https://doi.org/10.1017/S0144686X1000098X.

7. The International Longevity Centre Global Alliance, “Global Perspectives on Intergenerational Households and Relations,” ILC Global Alliance (The International Longevity Centre Global Alliance , January 2012), https://www.ilcfrance.org/images/upload/pages/annexe_5-Global_Alliance_Intergenerational_Relations.pdf, 35-37.

8. The International Longevity Centre Global Alliance, “Global Perspectives,” 35.

9. “Apartheid: A Short History,” Anti Apartheid Legacy, 2024, https://antiapartheidlegacy.org.uk/heritage-arts-culture/history/apartheid-a-short-history/.

10. The International Longevity Centre Global Alliance, “Global Perspectives,” 33.

11. The International Longevity Centre Global Alliance, “Global Perspectives,” 34.

12. The International Longevity Centre Global Alliance, “Global Perspectives,” 33.

13. D’Vera Cohn et al., “The Demographics of Multigenerational Households,” Pew Research Center (Pew Research Center, March 24, 2022), https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/the-demographics-of-multigenerational-households/.

14. D’Vera Cohn et al., “Financial Issues.”

15. D’Vera Cohn et al., “Financial Issues.”

16. Toni C. Antonucci et al., “Stability and Change in the Intergenerational Family: A Convoy Approach,” Ageing & Society 31, no. 7 (October 1, 2011): 1084–1106, https://doi.org/10.1017/S0144686X1000098X.

17. Rachel Minkin et al., “Financial Help and Independence in Young Adulthood,” Pew Research Center (Pew Research Center, January 5, 2024), https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/01/25/financial-help-and-independence-in-young-adulthood/.

***

Bibliography

Anti Apartheid Legacy. “Apartheid: A Short History,” 2024. https://antiapartheidlegacy.org.uk/heritage-arts-culture/history/apartheid-a-short-history/.

Antonucci, Toni C., Kira S. Birditt, Carey W. Sherman, and Sarah Trinh. “Stability and Change in the Intergenerational Family: A Convoy Approach.” Ageing & Society 31, no. 7 (October 1, 2011): 1084–1106. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0144686X1000098X.

Cohn, D’Vera, Juliana Horowitz, Rachel Minkin, Richard Fry, and Kiley Hurst. “Financial Issues Top the List of Reasons U.S. Adults Live in Multigenerational Homes.” Pew Research Center. Pew Research Center, March 24, 2022. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/financial-issues-top-the-list-of-reasons-u-s-adults-live-in-multigenerational-homes/.

Cohn, D’Vera, Juliana Horowitz, Rachel Minkin, Richard Fry, and Kiley Hurst. “The Demographics of Multigenerational Households.” Pew Research Center. Pew Research Center, March 24, 2022. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/the-demographics-of-multigenerational-households/.

Klein, Ezra, and Derek Thompson. Abundance. Simon and Schuster, 2025.

Minkin, Rachel, Kim Parker, Juliana Horowitz, and Carolina Aragão. “Financial Help and Independence in Young Adulthood.” Pew Research Center. Pew Research Center, January 5, 2024. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/01/25/financial-help-and-independence-in-young-adulthood/.

National Low Income Housing Coalition. “The Problem.” National Low Income Housing Coalition, 2024. https://nlihc.org/explore-issues/why-we-care/problem.

The International Longevity Centre Global Alliance. “Global Perspectives on Intergenerational Households and Relations.” ILC Global Alliance. The International Longevity Centre Global Alliance , January 2012. https://www.ilcfrance.org/images/upload/pages/annexe_5-Global_Alliance_Intergenerational_Relations.pdf.